Forever His Princess

Punishment for P

2010-06-02T20:39:00.003-06:00

The other night, before the hotel happened, P had another accidental orgasm. Sometimes I feel bad for him when this happens, because believe me, if you were there, you'd know it was accidental too! Just the look on his face...the disappointment in himself...he is not losing control on purpose and then just taking his punishment anyway. Most of the time he doesn't enjoy the orgasm because he knows what's to come. This was one of those times. It wasn't necessarily the dread of punishment, though, so much as the fact that it was the first time we were having sex since our big fight and it was a good opportunity to reconnect. He felt like it was lost when he came without permission and the focus switched to that and his being punished.

I haven't punished him yet, other than making him lick up his come from my stomach (he had tried to pull out but it was too late). I usually like to punish close to the "crime" because I think it sticks better, but in all honesty, there just hasn't been time. I also didn't want to overshadow our hotel night (and there was no way he was going to miss it as punishment, cuz that would have punished me too!). So all the while I've been thinking and thinking about what I'll be doing. I have some good ideas going. I almost don't want to punish him because I know it was an accident and I know he felt bad, but I also know that it's important. To both of us. Because he reads my blog I won't post about the punishment until it's done, and I'm not sure when that will be yet, so I guess you'll just have to wait and see. Any ideas you can contribute are definitely welcome. :)

Time With S

2010-06-02T19:50:00.003-06:00

As I said in my last post, P, S and I got a hotel room last weekend for the night. The plan was for the three of us to play, then have P leave to take care of our children in the morning, and S and I would stay at the hotel and have time for just us two to play. At about 1:30 am we had P go home so we could start our part of the evening.

I love spending time alone with S with no children to worry about, no husband to worry about...just us. It's definitely a great way to spend my time! We like to cuddle and kiss, and talk...and do sexual things. :)

After P left, S and I took the time to just cuddle and talk. It was really great. Then we took some time to rest and recharge (it had been a long night at that point!). I actually didn't sleep, but S did. As she slept I couldn't help looking over her and just being overwhelmed with love and with excitement at what had just happened. I let her sleep for about two hours before she woke up and we started up again. We kissed and started touching each other's pussy. I LOVE how wet she gets for me! It absolutely turns me on just knowing that she's soaked because of me.

She licked my pussy for a while...something she also does very well! I love it...there is just something about a woman doing it. We know the right amount of pressure and where to go because we know what feels good to us, and she definitely knows! When she finished I took a turn licking her. The first time earlier in the evening, I didn't take my time because I was so excited for her and P to fuck, but this time I went slow and just enjoyed it. I love hearing her moan and feeling her body respond to me. It's very sexy. I wanted to stay there all night!

Instead, we got out a few toys and played around a bit longer before we got too exhausted again. I fell asleep for about an hour and so did she, before a phone call woke us both up. After the "wake up call" we squeezed in just a little more playing (yes, I was sore when all was said and done, but who the Hell cares?? ;) ) before it was time to leave. We also cuddled and talked in between. It was all very very good, and I'm hoping it's something we can do again before the summer is over. Until then, we have some time where we'll have a few hours here and there to spend together like that, so we'll just have to take every advantage we can!

The Bad, the Good, and the Fucking GREAT!

2010-06-02T19:01:00.003-06:00

I don't know why I tend to go so long without posting, but I assure you it isn't intentional. It probably has something to do with being a mom to small children, which takes up much of my time, and doesn't exactly leave me in a blog writing kind of mood. Anyhow, I thought I'd update everyone on what's going on with myself and P, as well as myself and S (as she is a HUGE part of my life!)

I'm a bad news first kind of person, because I like to end on a high note, so we'll start there. The bad is that P and I got into one of the worst fights we've ever had. When we fight, there isn't yelling or storming out...there is crying and hurt feelings, usually for days. And that's what this was. P had said something that really upset me and I was completely hurt. I shut down, he shut down, and it was a Hell of a long week. But in the end, we were able to talk and work things out, and heal together. Since our fight, we have been making more of an effort to be close and to talk. So far it's going very well and we are feeling much much better.

The good has more to do with S and I. As you may remember, she and I are not only best friends, but have also been engaging in a physical relationship. It's not something I ever thought I would do-engage in a physical relationship with another woman, but it's something that I love doing with her. We aren't able to do more than kiss most of the time between kids, husbands, friends, and just life in general, but when we do, it's really, really good. She makes me feel very good and happy, and I thank P often for the opportunity to be "more than friends" with her. Don't get me wrong, the physical relationship is not what it's all about. I love her as a friend...my best friend. The closeness we get out of being physical is just a bonus on top of being best friends. It has been a very surprising journey, but a definite good one!

I can picture you asking "well what does P think about all this?" In short, he's good. He likes that I have a best friend that I can turn to when I need to, and he likes that I can have a physical relationship with S and still come back to him-often times with more sexual energy because of S! He has posted a few things about S and I on his blog if you'd like to read what he thinks in his own words.

Now onto the Fucking GREAT part of the post...the physical goings on between S, P, and myself. Honestly, when I started this relationship with S, I didn't see it ending up here at all, but I'm glad it did. The three of us have been chatting for a while now about playing some together, and it finally came together over the weekend. We got a hotel room and the plan was for the three of us to play, then P would go home to care for children the next morning, and S and I would stay the night. We started around 8:00 at night and ended the play with all three of us around 1:00 am.

We had chatted before that night to get more comfortable with everyone's limits. Really, there weren't any. S wasn't sure about actual intercourse with P, but wasn't taking it off the table either. She wanted to just take it as it came. We enjoyed the chatting that lead up to the night....all the possibilities had us all pretty worked up. P suggested the idea of giving S the key to hang onto until that night, and I liked the idea, so a few days before I handed it over.

While at the hotel, I mentioned to P that he would probably have to make the first move on S...I suggested he start with kissing her. She had moved over by the air conditioner to cool off while I stayed on the bed reading something, so P took the opportunity. He kissed her and helped her take off her top shirt. The two of them came back over to the bed and before we knew it, we were all naked...kissing and touching each other. It was heaven!

Because it was such a long night and SO many things happened, I won't cover everything in this post. I will touch on a few of my favorite things that happened, though.

I found that I REALLY enjoyed P's interaction with S. I was almost surprised at how much it turned me on. Every time he kissed her or touched her, my stomach flipped a little and my pussy pulsed. I loved it. And of course the attention on me wasn't lacking at all! We all took turns being in between the other two...one of the best places to be in the world! When you are in between two people you love, and getting all of this sexual attention, it's simply amazing.

S decided after a lot of playing that she wanted P to fuck her. She asked me first while he was occupied, to be sure I was okay with it. I assured her I was. A few minutes after, P asked me the same thing. Again, I assured him I was fine with it. I wanted it. She had been licking my pussy and had come up to kiss my breasts and neck when he went around and entered her from behind. It. Was. HOT. After a few minutes they had to switch positions and she was on her back with him on his knees...basically Missionary position. I kissed her breasts and mouth, pinched her nipples, pinched his nipples, and pulled his hair. It was all VERY hot. A few minutes later (we didn't allow P to come then) I had him fuck me. At first it was a bit weird to have S watching...I'm not used to that. But then it stopped being weird and was just good. Soon after we were done(again, no coming from P), I allowed S to give P a blow job.

She had mentioned before that it is something she loves to do and is good at, and I thought it'd be fun for P since he hardly ever gets them from me. I also knew that she would taste me on him, and I thought that was pretty good. :) When she put her mouth over his hard cock...I could have come from watching them! While she licked and sucked on his cock, I pinched his nipples and kissed him, I played with her hair, and listened. I love to hear the moaning. From both of them. Just listening to their moans was again almost enough to get me off! S got P very close to the edge and he asked if he could come. I told S it was up to her, and she said yes. It was a very strong orgasm for him! He said (with my promise that it wouldn't end in punishment :) ) that it was the best blow job he'd ever had, and I believed him.

S and I had also gone down on each other-one of the things we both enjoy doing and receiving. I absolutely love the taste of her and could spend all day there. While I was licking at her pussy, P was at her head, kissing her mouth and breasts. And watching. When I looked up and we connected eyes it was amazing how sexy I felt, and how much I loved that moment.

P fucked S one more time before he left for the night, and again, I almost couldn't help myself from coming just at the sound and sight of it! By the time he did leave, I couldn't even count the number of times I had come. And the night was young...

Some Thoughts and Comments

2010-04-25T18:42:00.002-06:00

Last week P got a comment over on his blog about my new relationship with S and how it effects my WLM with P. Here is the comment that was published (anonymously, of course):

"First thing's first: to each their own. Aside from that, what I appreciate about role-reversal (ala FLR/WLM) is that women are granted the liberties once reserved for men. However, the caveat is that women shouldn't abuse that power like so many men have and still do. Isn't that the crux of the matter, that women are better equipped to lead responsibly? So, if it was bad for a powerful man to excuse his woman and pursue relationships with others... how is it any better in reverse with a woman in charge? Because the events align with the man's fantasies? And if the balance is tipped and the woman (or her woman) becomes less interested in the caged man, when does he become a cuckold? In all the forums, websites, and books I've read, role reversal was meant to focus a couple's attention on each other not divide it. Perhaps I'm reading the wrong media."

I wanted to take a minute to address my feelings on this. First of all, I don't feel as though I'm abusing my power. I'm completely honest with P every step of the way. I am constantly communicating with him about this new relationship, and if at any time he is no longer okay with it, it ends. Period. S and I will always be best friends, but my marriage to P is more important than the sexual relationship that I have with S (the emotional one will always be there as long as we're friends). She and I have also discussed this and agreed.

I find that the more I am with S, the more I want to be with P too. I love him and I still find him sexy and want that cock. I'm not becoming less interested in him. In fact, I'm more interested in him. I find that I'm almost always turned on, between he and S. Because of this, I think our attention is turned onto each other just as much or more than before.

All in all, we are both in agreement that this relationship with S is a good thing right now, and we'll continue until one or all of the 3 of us decide it's not longer good. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy myself with both of the people I love.

Saturday FUN

2010-04-25T18:20:00.003-06:00

So S and I got our hotel room booked and planned to go to a movie after our families were taken care of. That meant that the day dragged on and on until we could see each other! Finally at 6 pm I left and picked her up from her house. We went to the movies and cuddled while we watched. It was so nice to just be with her and hold her hand. We occasionally kissed and rubbed a breast or two, but mostly just enjoyed being together.

After the movie we went to our hotel and got up to our room. We talked a little bit before we began kissing. I think we were both nervous...I know I was! But it was that good kind of nervous. We decided to run to the gas station for some drinks because we knew we wouldn't want to leave later. When we came back, we got back to where we were with making out on the bed. Very quickly, clothes came off as the kissing got heavier, and the touching began. We took turns kissing each other's breasts...sucking nipples and just enjoying the experience. She asked if she could lick me, and after the Friday before, how could I say no? I nodded my head and she set to work. I couldn't concentrate on anything else but her tongue on my pussy. I was so wet and excited to be there with her.

We had spoken over chat earlier in the week about me going down on her. This is the one biggest thing that has always had me a bit weird-ed out by girl-on-girl action, so I was unsure of how it would go. At the same time, I found that I REALLY wanted to try it. I started to head toward her pussy and she stopped me to make sure I was okay. I told her to shh and kept going. That first taste was amazing. She tasted so good, so sweet...I couldn't go back if I wanted to! I took my time and just enjoyed licking her pussy...like her, I did what I thought would feel good to me. It seemed to work. We spent the next few hours going back and forth with each other...feeling each other's bodies and kissing and licking...it was VERY good. We cuddled and just enjoyed being together. We each tried something new and found that it was good. Our whole focus was just on being together and enjoying our time. I returned to licking her pussy a few more times...unable to stay away. By the time we were finally too exhausted to do anything else with each other but sleep, it was 5 in the morning. At that point we still wanted more, but our bodies needed sleep! We headed to bed together and enjoyed a few hours of sleep before we woke up (a little bit before the alarm).

S woke me up all of the way by playing with my nipples, and it was a great way to wake up! We played around some more, giving each other more orgasms and pleasure before we had to head home. The whole experience was...well it was HOT! It was amazing and incredible and I can't wait to do it again.

I was happy to get home to P and the kids, but a piece of me always seems to go with her...as I left her house after dropping her off, I already started to miss being with her. I have found in the last 2 weeks that this is how it has been. When I'm not with her, I'm missing her. I just love being with her and being close to her. I have found that I love her. Thankfully P understands and is okay with our relationship. For the foreseeable future there is not going to be any play with the 3 of us, but he does enjoy the sexual energy I bring back home with me. I am thankful that he understands and is okay with me and S continuing our exploration of each other. She is my best friend and has opened up that much more of me. I love it!

Saturday Fun-part 1-the back story

2010-04-25T18:04:00.004-06:00

As I explained in an earlier post, I kissed a girl, and really liked it. Unfortunately, I haven't had the time or energy to update the whirlwind of the relationship between S and I. We have become very close in the last two weeks. A few days after our first kiss we had a date of sorts. A local event that we both wanted to attend was in the middle of the week but no one else was able to go. We weren't disappointed though, because we looked forward to being alone. We had seen each other every day since that weekend, and had texted and chatted online in between seeing each other, so by Wednesday we were excited for a night alone. We went to the event and enjoyed ourselves. Afterward we decided to go park and make out. This has become one of our favorite activities-making out. :) We found a parking lot close enough to our homes and kissed and touched and just loved being together. Then things went a step further as S lifted my shirt and kissed my breasts. She sucked on my nipples...and it felt SO good. I found myself wanting to do it back to her, but as anyone who has ever been a horny teen knows, cars do not make a good place for such things (well, not the front seat, anyway). We decided after a while that we both had to get home but made more plans to see each other throughout the rest of the week.

Friday of that same week I hosted a game night at my house and S was invited. She was supposed to try to come early, but things just didn't work out. Our original plan was for P to take the kids and leave a little early so that S could come over and she and I could spend some "quality" time together before our other friends showed up. Then I would drive her home later after everyone left and we spent more time together. During the week we spent a lot of time chatting about the things we wanted to do and try, so by Friday we were pretty keyed up. However like I said, things didn't go according to plan. S was not only not early, but was about the 5th person there. It wasn't her fault, and we were both a little sad at the missed time. But we looked forward to when the other girls left and we had our time to ourselves.

Around 2 am that time finally came. S and I headed down to my room and started making out on my bed while P sat at his computer across the room. It was fairly dark, so he wasn't able to see much (a fact I was unsure of until later). Kissing turned to touching, which turned to removal of clothing, which turned into all kinds of good things! S was unfortunately dealing with mother nature (very lightly, though) so there was no question that I wouldn't be going down on her. I did want to touch her though, and I had a hard time containing myself until I was finally able to slide my fingers into her pussy.

She was willing and able to go down on me, however, and being my first time having oral sex with a woman, I was impressed. It was so very, very good. She has no experience in this department, but told me later that she just did what she thought would feel good to her...a big advantage to having the same equipment as your lover! We explored each other for a long time (part of which P spent in his closet) and finally after a few orgasms for me and one for her, decided that I should get her home. It was 5 am by then.

Fast forward to my birthday weekend...we had spent all week beforehand remembering and fantasizing about the weekend before, and that led to us deciding to book a hotel room for the night and give it another go. The rest of the week dragged on as we tried to sneak and see each other whenever we could, and chatted in between. Finally Friday came and I spent the wonderful day with P, followed by Saturday and spending time with S.

Keep reading...

A Wonderful Birthday Weekend

2010-04-25T17:37:00.005-06:00

This weekend was my birthday, which believe it or not, I look forward to every year. I'm one of the few people that really enjoy my birthday. Crazy, I know.

P had to work during the day on Friday (my actual birthday) but was as helpful with the children as he could be. I loved that. It makes such a big difference in my day when he can come up and change a diaper here and there or just help me with the childcare. Especially since I haven't been getting much sleep. The plan for the evening was to take the kids to my sister's house for the night and go to dinner and a movie, then come home for some play.

We went to our favorite place for dinner and enjoyed taking our time talking and enjoying our meal. Part of why we love this place is that they don't rush you in and out. About half way through our meal we were having a good, deep conversation and we realized that neither of us really wanted to go sit in a movie theater. We decided to walk around the area and continue talking. As parents of 3 kids, P having 2 jobs, and just the general craziness of life, we don't often get time for a long, uninterrupted discussion. It was nice. It was needed. After walking around and getting a little chilly we decided to go sit in the car to chat. Which lasted at least another hour. The greatest thing about all of this was that we didn't care what time it was. We weren't rushing off anywhere...we were just enjoying our time together as two adults. Two adults in love.

A friend was having a party at a local bar and I had mentioned that I wanted to stop by and see everyone, so P-ever so subby (as he hates bars)-agreed to go with me for a little while. I had fun at the bar with my friends and had a drink. I knew P was ready to go, though, and so was I, so we said our goodbyes and left for home.

Once home we went down to our room and I waited to see what P had planned. I had told him earlier in the week that I wanted to try switching for a few hours. Not fully-I mostly wanted to be tied up and spanked a little, and to not be in control of my orgasm. He still had to ask permission to use the bathroom and to come (I had told him beforehand that he would NOT be coming, so it was no problem). I reserved the right to call it off and go back to normal at any time. I never did, though. :)

P tied me to the bedposts-all 4 limbs, and left me blindfolded and with my Endless Pleasure turned on and in my pussy. It was torture. I waited for him to gather things together and use the bathroom (with permission, of course) before he came back over to "help" me. Once he came back to the bed he untied my legs and used the vibrator to get me to a very powerful orgasm. I honestly can't remember how many orgasms I had that night, but every one of them was GOOD. In the course of the night, he licked my pussy (and GOD was I wet!), smacked my ass while I was bent over the bed, and tried a few new positions that were pretty good. I almost let him come...it was that good. But I held firm and I was the only one enjoying an orgasm that night. It was MY birthday, after all.

Part two:Saturday fun...coming next!

I Kissed a Girl, and I Liked It!

2010-04-12T18:05:00.002-06:00

Okay, I have to preface this by saying...I've never been into girls. I don't get turned on with girl on girl porn, tv kisses, etc. I have been to a strip club...not my bag. It's not that I'm homophobic...I'm not. I kinda like some guy on guy porn. :) But the female stuff has just never appealed to me. To each his/her own.

However, something changed this weekend. Some good friends of mine and I were out of town for the night, staying at a hotel and getting drunk and gambling...just having a good time. One of my friends (we'll call her S) somehow found out that my neck is my most sensitive spot, and the one that makes me horny and wet almost instantly. And she took advantage! She kissed my neck all night (and I let her). We all went to a strip club to have some more fun and drink. I wasn't thrilled, but don't mind going along. While we were there S asked if I would let her kiss me. I told her I wasn't sure yet. Kissing my neck had felt good all night...I loved it every time she did it. But I still wasn't too sure about kissing a girl. And being that she's my friend, I didn't want things to be weird between us when we were sober.

When we got back to our hotel room we were all hanging out...the other 2 friends on one bed, and S and I on the other...that was how the sleeping arrangements were to be. S started kissing my neck again, and something took over me, and I KISSED HER. Full on, french kiss, with tongue. And you know what? I loved it. We kissed for a few minutes and ran our hands around each other's bodies. She felt my breast and lightly pinched my nipple...which I also loved. There is a big difference in a woman doing it to another woman...we know the right amount of pressure to use, and it. was. good.

I came home from my trip exhausted (after only an hour of sleep) and horny. I took care of the exhaustion early on so that I could take care of the horny later. :) P blogged about it here. He, of course, thought it was hot. I used that to my advantage.

Since we kissed I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I want to do it again. And again. And again. Do I want to take things further? I don't know yet. I probably won't know until I get there. S and I have been texting back and forth all day, and every time I see that it's her, my heart jumps. I'm giddy, and giggly, and it's like a new relationship. It's all very strange and confusing to me, which I told her. She agrees...this is her first venture into this territory as well. But for now, it's a lot of fun!

An Anniversary, Fun, and Not-So-Fun

2010-04-03T18:44:00.003-06:00

Well we made it to our 2 year mark for WLM. I am still loving it-more so than when we started. He is still loving it, which is good because I have no intentions of stopping. :) I find that I am letting myself be more and more open to new ideas and new things. Most of which are good. There are very few things we have tried which I didn't like.

We celebrated our anniversary by getting the kids out of the house and spending time together. I won't go into it all, because P did a good job of that on his blog here and here. I will say that I LOVE the necklace and wear it as much as possible. I've gotten a few comments on it, but those who don't know about our WLM often say "oh, you have the key to his heart!" Little do they know! I will also say that I absolutely LOVED paddling his ass. The more he moans, the more I get into it. And to think, I never thought I'd be the type of person into "that kind of thing". :)

We also found the time and opportunity to try playing with IcyHot. From this experience I learned that I have a VERY good punishment at my fingertips. He wasn't in a "good" pain, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, I have been messing with getting my meds (I take antidepressants/anti-anxiety) right, and the result has left me an emotional mess. It makes it difficult to want to play, much less do anything else. Luckily I have been feeling better this weekend, so I plan to make up for that. And since P reads this blog, I guess you will have to wait and see...

Stupid Technology

2010-04-03T09:46:00.001-06:00

I tried to come and post yesterday, but I just kept getting an error. Grr. So I promise I will get something up later today. I hate that I let it go so long!

Sick!

2010-03-13T23:44:00.002-07:00

Ugh! I am so sick of sickness! I'm ready for the spring weather to come and the sickness to go. In the past month it seems that at least one of us has been sick every week. It's so frustrating. I want to play, he wants to play, but inevitably one of us is too sick and tired to do anything. We've had a lot of early nights around here!

Our "kink-i-versary" is coming up here soon, and I'm worried that either one or both of us will be sick, or that one of our children will be sick, leaving us without a sitter. Hopefully that won't be the case, but it's looking less and less likely, since the oldest child currently has Strep Throat, and I'm sure it'll sweep through the rest of us like wildfire.

So, the lack of updating is simply due to having nothing to update. Cross your fingers that we can stay healthy and I'll have lots of juicy things to inform you all of in a few weeks!

Teasing and Fun

2010-03-01T10:11:00.005-07:00

P has been so on edge all weekend, that I couldn't decide where to take him. Should I let him come? It has been a month. Should I make him stay desperately horny? He pays a ton of attention to me and my needs. Hmmm...quite a conundrum.

I teased him all through the day so that he wouldn't know what I was thinking. I told him we should go to bed early, which would mean no sex. He was almost whining with desperation, which is just how I like him.

When we did go down for the night I decided that some play was in order. I had him get out the rope and my paddle. I tied his hands together and then to the bed. Then I had him get on the bed and on his knees so I could hit his ass for a minute (side note:I never thought I'd enjoy spanking him-boy was I wrong!). After a minute I was very turned on and decided to tie his feet together. I also attached a piece of rope from his feet to his cock. Just for fun. I went back to spanking him, but couldn't last long because I was getting horny. I untied his feet and cock so that he could lay back on the bed with his head over the edge. I positioned myself over his mouth while he licked me. Unfortunately, I couldn't stand in that position very long so I had him scoot down on the bed so I could get up on it and sit on his face. He was quite vigorous in his licking and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I moved down onto his cock to tease him just a little more. He moaned and writhed and tried to push it in me, but I wouldn't let him. I wanted to keep him desperate. At the same time, I wanted a good fucking. So I had him get my toy and get to work. I kept his hands bound just to make it more difficult for him. He did very well...I had a very powerful orgasm. After that, I found that I just wanted more.

I was unsure about how to proceed because I knew how on-edge P was, and I figured he wouldn't last long. I didn't want him to come accidentally, because he earned the enjoyment of it when I allowed it. When it happens accidentally, he doesn't enjoy it. I decided to let him know that he would NOT be coming, so he could focus. I hadn't actually decided that yet, but I figured telling him that would allow him to focus on me and not on his own building orgasm.

I grabbed my paddle and let P enter me as I spanked him. It was pretty light at first, as it was hard to get into a good position with my arm and wrist. After he was in, he began to thrust hard and I was surprised at how fast I was ready to orgasm. Unfortunately, he was on edge very quickly as well. I kept spanking him anyway, enjoying the moaning coming from him. Something about it just turns me on, and the more he moaned, the harder I hit, and the more horny and wet I got. After a few minutes of hitting and moaning, he was thrusting into me and asking me if he could come. I told him no. A few more minutes he asked again. I said no. I still wasn't sure at that point if I was going to say yes or not. I really enjoyed having him on edge this last couple of weeks, and I hate that day after let-down, and the time to recharge. I spanked him harder and harder and he moaned more and louder, which got me going to the point where I dropped the paddle, grabbed him, and ordered him to come. He came hard and intense, as did I.

All in all, it was worth it, and I know he won't let me down as we start another denial period. I haven't decided how long this one will be yet. I often don't decide ahead of time and just go with the flow. I have noticed, however, that the more desperate his actions become, the sooner I let him orgasm. I love having him so horny that he can't focus on anything else, and that edge of not knowing if he can take anymore denial is right where I like him to be before I allow him to come. I've gotten quite good at telling when he's there, and I look forward to the journey there again.

Been a long time

2010-02-28T15:01:00.002-07:00

Okay, I know it has been quite a while since I posted and for that, I apologize. It's not that nothing has happened, it's just that I haven't felt like it and/or had time for it. I have been dealing with a change in some meds and such that has left me not feeling like doing much of anything. Along with that, I'm watching an extra child every day, and the attention he takes along with my own kids doesn't leave me much time for posting here.

Anyhow, things HAVE been happening. Not terribly frequently, but happening all the same. I have recently taken control of P's bathroom and shower times. He must ask me first. It was his idea, but I took to it very quickly because of the extra (and easy) control it gives me. Not to mention he has a knack for showering at the wrong times in the morning. I'm quite enjoying the occasional "no" that I give him when he asks...the momentary panic on his face as he wonders when I will say yes.

We have also been playing around with prostate milking. So far we haven't made anything come out but precum, but we have enjoyed the practice. :) I have only been using a finger for this, but it's going well. I think we'll be there soon.

I'm hoping that things will calm down a little around here and I can get to posting more regularly. Thanks for reading and hanging in there during those dry spells!

Loss of control...again

2010-01-22T14:10:00.003-07:00

Well, P did it again. He came without permission. Did he enjoy it? No. But the fact is, he let himself get distracted just long enough to lose focus and control. We were having sex last night after some heavy kissing, and we were both pretty worked up. I was enjoying myself very much, and he was concentrating on his math to keep himself from coming. But then he got stuck. He stopped but it was too late. He pulled out and came on my stomach. Because he didn't have the stimulation while he came, it was pretty much a ruined orgasm. But an unauthorized one all the same. I asked him what he was figuring out when he got stuck.

"17x17"

"what is 17x17?" I asked as I grabbed his cock and started rubbing it, knowing how sensitive it was.

He had to think and think. I told him I'd be double checking (I'm really no good at math). It was very difficult for him to come to the answer with me rubbing his sensitive cock.

"303...shit" He knew it was wrong. I had him grab my cell and use the calculator. 289.

I got up and went to our closet and grabbed my paddle. I came back to the bed and leaned him forward, giving him 17 quick, but hard, swats on the ass. He and I laughed as I punished him...he so that he wouldn't cry, and me because he was laughing and I knew why he was laughing. I stopped at 17 and asked if I should continue to 289 or if he got the point. He got it.

That was his punishment for last night, but it's far from over. This is the second time he's shown a lack of self control, so obviously he needs some training. This weekend ought to be a long one for him. I have left him out of his CB so that I can have quick and easy access when I feel like doing anything to him. It's going to be a fun weekend for me. :)

Anniversary Fun

2010-01-11T20:25:00.003-07:00

For the anniversary of our marriage, P and I usually try to make it out to a hotel overnight. This is a great time for us to get away from the kids and the distractions at home, and just focus on each other. We weren't able to get out last year, so we were looking forward to it even more this year.

I went in our room to begin packing for the night and closed (and locked) the door behind me. I did this because I didn't want P to see what I was packing. I wanted there to be some surprise in what I was bringing for play, as well as what I was bringing to wear. It wasn't anything new, but I hadn't worn it in a while...a black and pink nighty that he really enjoys. I packed clothes for both of us for the next day, and then set to work packing our toys.

I put aside his butt plug so that he could put it in before we left. I wanted to make sure he would be thinking about our evening during dinner. Sure enough, it worked!

After dinner (which was delicious!) we headed over to our hotel to check in. We must've picked a good time to stay, because we got a really great room! It had a couch in addition to our king-size bed, which pleased me, even though I hadn't planned on having it. We checked out the room and watched tv for a minute while we waited for our dinner to settle. P took his plug out and relaxed while I had him give me a mini-pedicure (just painting my nails) on the couch. Once it was dry I had him lick my pussy. With me on the couch and him on the floor, it provided a different angle than I'm used to (since my sister and her husband and kids live with us, we are very limited to what we have in our bedroom). It was an incredible orgasm! After that we ordered up our cake and took a little break for some other dessert. :)

Once we finished and were settled again, I decided it was his turn to have some play. I put his collar and wrist cuffs on him, followed by his nipple clamps. I fingered his ass and prepared him for his strap-on. Unfortunately, he was finding it painful, so we weren't able to continue with that. Instead, he wanted some spanking play. I had brought my paddle and I happily spent some time hitting his ass with it. I'm always amazed at how turned on I get when I spank him. It's not a kink I ever thought I'd be into, but there I was growing wetter by the smack. I got so horny by the time I was done spanking him, that we just had to have sex...with many orgasms for me, and none for him. He kept getting close, though, so we stopped again. I had him put the strap-on on himself with my dildo...I wanted to be fucked hard and fast, and because he was on edge, he wasn't able to provide that for me with my cock. So, the strap-on did the job.

He gave me several good orgasms before I was unable to take any more. I had him pull out and clean off the dildo with his mouth. Something about that always turns me on. Once he finished we relaxed again for a few minutes...me basking in post-orgasm bliss, and him on edge, wanting more. Just how it should be!

I wasn't done, though, and had him enter me with my cock. He tried to get in a good rhythm so he wouldn't get to the edge too fast. I wanted to just make love for a minute. I took off his collar and cuffs without saying anything. As if he read my mind, he whispered in my ear, asking if he could make love to me. I said yes. It was beautiful to just be...it wasn't about the kink for that few minutes, it was about us. We have been together for 8 years, and only 2 of those have been in a FLR, so I didn't want the WHOLE night to only reflect the FLR aspect. When I felt satisfied, I told him to fuck me hard and come. His orgasm was very intense...quite possibly the most intense one he's had yet. He shuddered all through his body as he came into me. I came with him, though not as powerful as I had already had many before that. It was wonderful.

By the time we went to bed, we were both exhausted. It was a beautiful night and I already can't wait until next year.

Looks like he's getting it!

2009-12-16T12:21:00.003-07:00

I told P the other day that I wanted him desperately horny. He wasn't quite sure what I wanted, but I told him I was sure he'd figure it out. Sure enough, he posted on his blog that he finally got it.

What I want from him is that he is not only horny, but desperately horny. For me. I want him to not be able to keep his hands off me. I want him to moan and whine when I deny him access to my body. I want him to always be thinking of me and the ways he can serve me and please me, and to be thinking of the things he wants to do to me.

Why do I want all this? Well, who wouldn't? I want to be the object of his desire and the love of his life. I want him to fantasize about me and love me. That's why I'm with him. One of the funnest things I've found about chastity play is the desperation I can make him feel for me. It makes it worth it. I love it. I want him to want me. I need him to need me. I love him to love me. :)

Play Time

2009-12-09T16:49:00.003-07:00

I really enjoy "play time" in our house. So does P. Basically it is the time we have to really engage in D/s in a sexual way. It's also a time for us to reconnect, as life with 3 kids gets very hectic.

Sunday nights we have a weekly review where P and I can reflect on is previous week of service to me. It is a time when he can vent, ask questions, and make requests without worry. We both look forward to this very much. I knew before our review this week that he would be getting a reward, as his week was excellent and without incident.

Unfortunately, the review didn't happen. While I was busy helping my sister, P was getting sick. He came to me and asked if he could go to bed...he just couldn't wait anymore. I almost didn't know what to say. I was so disappointed to miss out on not only the review, but the play that would have followed. I could tell he was disappointed too. I sent him to bed and joined him a bit later.

Monday came and P was feeling much better...so much better in fact, that I jokingly asked him if he took anything "special" to help his cold! We went on with our day as usual and as it got to Monday night, I set forth on the review. He recapped his week and told me he felt he deserved a reward and nothing needed to be punished. I agreed and got some things out of our closet. I put on his collar and wrist cuffs. I know how much he enjoys wearing his collar, and I enjoy seeing him in it. The wrist cuffs are not out as often though. Little did he know, I was in the mood to tie him up! I don't get in that mood all that often, unfortunately, even though I know how much he enjoys it. Sometimes it's just too much work. But that night I really wanted him to be helpless. I also put his nipple clamps and a blindfold on him. Then I gave him one of my favorite toys to wear...it's a cock ring with a bullet and silicone (but very, very small) tongue attached for "her" pleasure.

Once he had the toy, cuffs, collar, and clamps on, I tied his wrists to the bed and put the blindfold on him. I took some time to tease him, playing with his nipples while he moaned. I love to hear him moan! I placed myself over him and turned the bullet on. Unfortunately the batteries were dying, but I got some pleasure out of it while they lasted! Finally I let him enter me, but made him keep his hips still so that I was in complete control of the thrusting. This was very difficult for him. I kept thrusting very slowly. Then I'd stop. Then faster. It was a lot of fun, but I finally decided that I needed to orgasm. I have a hard time in this position, though, so I untied him, took off the blindfold, and had him get on top of me.

Whenever he is in this position I love to watch his face. You can see the concentration as he tries so hard not to come. Since this was his first time back in me since he accidentally came a few weeks ago, I know he was trying extra hard. I asked him what he was thinking about. "Just trying to listen to the tv". I smiled and decided to make it harder for him. I started talking dirty to him about how I love to control him. I know it got a lot harder to control himself then!

I finally was ready but waited for him to ask to come. I always love it when he asks...especially if I plan to say no. :) But I told him yes, and the orgasm that followed was incredible. We were both shaking by the time we were done rolling in the waves of it.

Now I have to work on getting him desperately horny again. I didn't have time last night, but tonight I just might have to do...something. I don't want to give anything away, as he reads this blog. ;) But I'm sure that whatever I come up with will have him BEGGING to come again.

FetLife Contest

2009-12-07T16:43:00.002-07:00

Hey, it's that time of year again...FetLife is doing their Christmas give-away. They have 218 prizes donated! So go check it out and definitely sign up if you're not a member there already. It's free and fun! :)

http://fetlife.com/sit_on_santas_lap

Punishment

2009-11-24T16:04:00.003-07:00

I don't often need to punish P. He serves me well and knows that I won't hesitate to do it, which means that I usually don't have to. However, due to his lack of self control the other night he needed it and I was happy to do it. I wasn't sure how I was going to go about it...I usually have a hard time deciding what will be punishment and not border the line of pleasurable for him. My usual punishment for coming without permission is for him to clean it up with his tongue...he likes the idea until he comes, and it's pleasurable for me. Unfortunately, that night I didn't have him do it because I was spotting and quite frankly, didn't think about it. So I spent some time going over blogs and forums to come up with ideas, all the while letting him know that I had not forgotten. I love to watch him squirm!

I ended up deciding that he would still have to consume, and that he would have a ruined orgasm first (after all, we are still needing to get those releases in for his negative sperm count from the vasectomy). At our Sunday night review I asked him if he wanted me to tell him what was going to happen or if he wanted to just go with it. He wanted to know. I told him I would be hands off, meaning that since he got his pleasure the other night this time he'd be doing it on his own(although it seems it was more of a ruined orgasm for him). For a minute he panicked as he thought I meant hands off in our FLR. I explained that he would get himself to the "point of no return" and ruin the orgasm on a plate so that he could consume it when he was done. I could tell he was not looking forward to it. I did allow him to wear his collar and nipple clamps to assure he'd get there, then I sat back and watched. He got himself there and came on the plate, then squeezed the tube to make sure there was nothing left inside. Then he set to work consuming it. Apparently it cooled very fast and was already cold and getting lumpy when be started licking the plate. I had a hard time watching! I don't think he found any part of it to be hot!

As far as punishments go, I liked this one. I didn't have to do much, which is always nice, but he still got the message and I'm sure he'll be being more careful in the future with his pace. I haven't decided yet when he'll be allowed back in me, as we do own several toys I quite enjoy. But his behavior as of late has been excellent, so it might be sooner rather than later.

Oops!

2009-11-20T15:24:00.002-07:00

I have been reading another one of my beloved books...we call them "smut books" around here for fun. It just recently came out and I was impatiently waiting for it, so I went and got it yesterday and got started. It's just as hot as I was expecting! :) Anyway, when I read these books it helps my sex drive a ton. So, as I was reading today I couldn't help but get horny and want some sex. The kids were taken care of and P couldn't focus on work (since the other night I did not allow him to orgasm and put him in his belt after sex), and I am going out tonight, so I suggested we spend some time together. A quickie, as the oldest spawn in the house was upstairs playing on the computer and I didn't know how much time the baby spawn would allow us to have before she woke up.

I love a good quickie...the passion is really hot. I love the kissing and fondling as you rush to get undressed. It's good. All of it. P got going with his hand and brought me to orgasm number one. It was a good one, but not what I REALLY wanted. However, when he started thrusting into me with the cock, I got off very fast, and very hard. THAT was what I wanted! He slowed down for a minute to give me time to recover and then was off again as I headed quickly toward orgasm number 3. I was just about there when he said "shit". "Damn. Shit". I grinned because I knew what he was going to say. He accidentally came. He let himself keep going just barely too long and even though he stopped moving, he still came. Kind of like a ruined orgasm, but we'll see if the post-orgasm fall-out comes or not. Since he already came I had him finish me off so I could get that last one in. Good timing too, since both the older and youngest spawn had decided that we had enough "adult time" together at that point.

I had him pull out and asked him if he came by accident or intentionally. He said accident, and I believe him! He is very worried about the outcome of this...he keeps looking at me with those big eyes to see if he can tell what I'll do. To be honest, I haven't decided yet. But I'm sure going to have fun making him squirm!

10-15...he sure is lucky!

2009-11-13T15:04:00.002-07:00

When a man has a vasectomy, his "pipes" are not automatically safe. There is a build-up of sperm that he must get out in order to be sterile. To do this, he must ejaculate 10-15 times or so. Then he will take two samples back to his doctor to be tested for sperm. If none is found, he is officially sterile.

What a lucky guy my P is! Since he had the procedure done and is no longer sore, we are working on cleaning him out. His doctor would like for him to get the 10-15 in about 2 months time. Since we were on a sort-of schedule of release every 3 weeks or so, he is getting WAY more than he's used to! I recently had surgery as well so it has only been the last few days that we have both been well enough to do anything sexual. The first was his birthday. I wasn't able to have sex with him because of some muscle pain from my surgery, but I did let him masturbate until he came. The second time was the other night, when I made him pick out a piece of paper: one said "sex", one said "masturbate yourself" and the other said "ruined orgasm". Of the folded papers he drew the masturbation one. He asked me what was on the others and I showed him. "I wish I had picked sex" he said. Me too. But alas, he went to work.

Unfortunately something wasn't working for him...I could tell even before he started. I let him get out his collar and nipple clamps, but even those didn't really help. I had him take a break in order to rub me to orgasm and then decided that I wanted sex. I made him a deal: you can have sex with me but you have to come out on my belly and clean it all up with your tongue. He agreed. He has been fantasizing lately about consuming his own come, but when the time comes, he suddenly no longer feels the urge. I knew this going in, as did he, but he agreed anyway. It was great, albeit short, sex. I was able to get an orgasm in just before he told me he needed to pull out to come. I gave him the go-ahead and he did. I could see the dread in his face as he watched it spurt out of him and I just smiled. I so love my position over him.

He is a man of his word, though, and he set to work cleaning up his mess with his tongue. As he lapped it up he made faces or noises of disgust here and there, and I took the opportunity to remind him of how many times I had swallowed for him. He finished up and I allowed him to go get a drink and clean up before we went to bed for the night.

For the rest of the opportunities he has to come I will probably use the same method. It's a lot of fun. Of course, I remind him that I always reserve the right to change my mind. If he hasn't behaved how I wanted him to, maybe the only options I'll include will be ruined orgasms. Maybe if I feel like it I'll even "load the cards" so to speak, and put a bunch of "sex" options in there. Who knows? That's the funnest part of it all.

Been a While

2009-10-22T18:31:00.002-06:00

Sorry-it has been a while since I posted last. Not because nothing has happened, but because life just got in the way.

We have been getting back into play...I have been getting back into teasing. I really enjoy teasing P because it keeps him on edge and keeps me aroused as well. That and it's just plain fun! The other night I went out to the bar but had him texting me while I was gone. I love it when he texts me while I'm out because I know he's thinking about me. I also like it because he tends to send me thoughts he has on things he'd like to try. Those give me great ideas to use later. He often digs himself into a hole this way. On that night he mentioned that he'd been fantasizing about consuming his own cum again. We've tried this in the past and now use it mostly as a punishment for coming without permission. He does not generally enjoy it. But I guess because it has been so long since he has been made to do it, he forgot this little fact. I filed it away for later use. :)

On that night at the bar I texted him and told him that I would be calling him in a few minutes to listen to him edge himself over the phone. I did his so that I didn't have to actually tell him and have someone over-hear me. I went out and called him and when he answered I told him to get to it. It turned me on so much to listen to him describe it and moan through the phone. By the time I went back into the bar, I was soaking wet. I couldn't wait to get home at that point!

But alas I was riding with someone and had to wait. I had some drinks and enjoyed being out, all the while continuing to text P. When I finally got home I was exhausted. Even though he asked to taste my pussy I declined. I didn't think I'd be able to orgasm in my state.

The next night I was ready for play. After making out and getting turned on I told P to go down on me. It was so good! Then I wanted sex. He did an incredible job of keeping himself under control, and I lost count of the number of orgasms I had. Later I told him it's not about quantity, but quality, which he was doing well.

After an intense orgasm I told him to go into the closet and lock his hands together and to the shelf. I pulled out the box of our toys and closed and locked the closet. I wanted him to stew for a minute while I looked over our toys to see what I wanted to use for the night. I decided that since he had had such good behavior the week before, he deserved a reward. I pulled out the strap-on and paddle, as well as his butt plug. I also went into the bathroom to get a glove and some lube (it doesn't matter how long we've played, I still get queasy about the back door...but a glove makes it all good. :) ) I put on the glove and went to the closet. I opened it and went in, tracing my gloved finger in his crack. Since I only wear these gloves for anal play, he knows what they mean. He instantly got hard and excited.

I led him out of the closet and to the bed. I kept his hands locked together and had him lay on his back and put his hands over his head. I played with his ass, putting my finger inside and feeling his warmth. He squirmed around really enjoying the sensation. Then I pulled out his plug and lubed it up so could insert it into his tight asshole. As it slid into place he moaned and moved even more. He had mentioned a few days prior that he wanted to try my paddling him with his plug in, so I took advantage of that moment to try it. He really enjoyed it. When I felt he was ready I removed his plug and got into place with the strap-on. I slowly inserted it, getting very hot and wet with every inch as he moaned with pleasure. Once I got it all the way in I waited a moment because slowly sliding it out, then back in...and so on. I enjoy fucking his ass...I love the feeling of power it gives me, but I mostly love to watch him. He gets so lost in his pleasure. I watch his face and listen to him moan...it makes me wet almost instantly.

When I felt he'd had enough I slowly pulled out, letting him enjoy the sensation. Then I decided to give him a ruined orgasm. He has his vasectomy coming up (tomorrow, in fact) and I told him that since he has to have a certain number of ejaculations, he would have to pay for some of them. I reminded him that last time I had him in this position I did a ruined orgasm. He knew what was coming. I put his plug back in and had him tell me when he was close and I let go. Then got going again. When he told me he was close this time, I kept going just a few seconds more, then let go. It took a minute, but sure enough he started leaking fluid. I took a finger-full of it and let him have a taste to remind him just how much he doesn't like it. He agreed.

I pulled his plug out and told him to wash up and put everything away. When we got into bed together he told me that it felt different this time-it was like a ruined orgasm, but not quite. It still felt kind of good. I told him I was glad to know that...makes it easier for next time. Now I know that we can't use the plug for this in the future. I'm okay with the fact that it didn't quite work out. You win some, you lose some. :) I warned him that I expect his service and attitude to continue as it was. In the last few days he has proven himself. Although he is not feeling the familiar subby feelings, he is trying his best. And it is pretty good. I told him that some of his ejaculations after his procedure will probably be ruined ones. He can't have them all for free! :)

The Closet

2009-10-05T20:25:00.003-06:00

When we moved into our house we were excited because we have a closet to use for play. Unfortunately, we were unable to use it right at first because it still had some things left from the previous owners and because of a leak. Well, the leak got fixed and the stuff got taken off, so we installed the things we need for play. (yay!)

P has had a great time at the hardware store, picking out eye bolts and such to secure himself in the closet. After he installed them I had him strip down to just his CBCurve and I locked his arms in. I was unable to do all the locks (both arms and legs) because the locks we had were too small. But we got him to a place where he couldn't move very much and I had fun teasing his body and lightly spanking him. I let him out and we went to b ed. P went and got bigger locks later that week. :)

Now that we have the bigger locks we were able to do some more play last night. Every Sunday we have our weekly review...I ask him how he thought he did in the previous week, if he thought he deserved punishment/reward, and if there are any special concerns going into the next week, or anything else he needs to talk to me about. From there, I administer the punishment or reward as I see fit. Last night got him a reward. His service and attitude in the past week has been much improved and I knew just the reward he was looking for. The other night he asked if he could lock himself up in the closet but I was not in the mood for play (I have had a nasty cold the last week) and told him no. But last night I ordered him into the closet...I wanted him stripped down and locked up in a way he could choose. I finished up things around the house and tended to the baby before I went in to admire his work.

When I went in to check on him I found him locked facing the shelves and spread eagle...except for his legs. Apparently he couldn't get those spread as well, so he locked them together. I unlocked them and helped him into the spread position. Once he was completely locked up to my satisfaction, I played with him. He had put on some nipple clamps which I twisted and tugged while he moaned. I get so wet hearing him moan! I scratched his back up and down and played with his ass...I love having him in such a vulnerable position. I wanted to let him stew a little, so I left the room and told him I'd be back. Then I closed and locked the door.

I tended to the baby again (two months old...she doesn't get the concept of bedtime yet!) and had a thought-I hadn't told him to put on nipple clamps, and he hadn't asked. Not okay. So I grabbed my paddle out of our toy box (eventually I plan to hang it in the closet with him as a mind fuck) and went back into the closet.

"It occured to me that I didn't tell you to put on the nipple clamps, did I?"

"No ma'am"

"And you didn't ask, did you?"

"No ma'am"

I laid out the punishment- I would warm him up with some light hits, then deliver two good ones as punishment for not asking and just wearing the clamps. And I did just that. I was very nice about it-this time. I warned him when the strikes would be coming. We have yet to really use this kind of punishment, and I wanted to make sure he was okay and I was okay. I've only recently discovered how much I enjoy doing things like that to him. But since it's all so new still, I like to take things slow and make sure we are both safe and happy with what is going on.

After I punished him I just couldn't resist his body and I played with him some more. When I felt good and satisfied I unlocked his arms and helped him down to the ground so that he could unlock his legs. I had him leave his collar on but clean up everything else. When he came out I had him kneel so I could remove the collar. I love taking it off of him in this way. I think it's a good transition.

Overall I think the night went well. We had a good "play" punishment (that's what we call it when it's not a serious infraction...one that might even go unpunished normally) and some good play. When we were ready for bed I had him bring me to orgasm with his fingers. I haven't been so wet in a long time! It was a good way to end the night, and I realized through this that I really am enjoying where we are going. Unfortunately for him, I find myself wanting to do things like hit him....not something I was even remotely interested in when we first started out! He keeps saying he doesn't know if he should be worried or not...I keep telling him he should. :)

Back In the Saddle

2009-10-01T14:06:00.003-06:00

In the last few months we have moved twice (once to the in-laws) and had a baby, so things have not been as I like them to be. In addition, P has had a lot going on with work and has been stressed out with the changes and work. Because of this, we haven't been in the swing of the FLM as we were before the move. He has not been serving me at the level I expect and we have not been having sex like before (partly because of the 6 week post-partum period).

Last week I spoke to P about his lack of service and let him know that even though he's under stress, I still expect him to serve me as he promised. Since then, he has really stepped it up. His attitude has improved and he is working hard to please me. On Tuesday I went out with some friends. Once I was gone, I texted him and told him to put in his anal plug. A little while later I also told him to put on his collar. I love having him wear these while I'm out because I know it forces him to think of me while I'm gone. It also gets me hot!

I have been thinking about oral sex a lot lately...I really miss it. Since I did have the baby almost 2 months ago, oral was out of the question until recently. Apparently P was thinking the same thing, as he texted me while he worked yesterday to let me know how much he misses it as well. He asked if he could taste me later and I replied with "maybe". I love answering him in this way because I know it screws with his mind. Of course I was going to have him go down on me!

After we got the kids to bed and went to our room for the night, I wasn't quite ready...I wanted to string him along a bit. We watched a few of our shows before bed and I had him do my nightly foot rub. I also had him rub my legs and scratch my back. I love the feeling of his touch, and I knew he was horny and hoping I'd let him taste me. I finally got the baby to sleep so I laid back on the bed and invited him in. OMG...it had really been so long. He moaned as he took the first taste, and I moaned at the feel of it. There really is just nothing like it! He licked and touched me to several orgasms before I had him stop. But I was not done! I unlocked his CBCurve and told him to lube up. When he came back into the bedroom I told him to "climb aboard". He was so hard and I felt very tight...it was wonderful. He got into a good position and I looked him in the eyes and said "you are not to come". I really love the mind games. :) He began thrusting and I built up hard and fast to my orgasm...and it was GOOOOD. I came hard and had him pull out. He was covered in my juices and longing to have his own orgasm. I told him to wash up and lock back up...he hadn't earned release just yet.

I love nights like last night. They are very much all about me, and that's how I've come to like it. Hopefully for him he'll earn his own release soon, but I'm not going to give it to him easily. He will really have to earn it!

Finally

2009-09-18T11:12:00.002-06:00

After 7 weeks of nothing but tease and denial, I finally let P cum last night. It had been 6 weeks of no sex for me, as we just had a baby, and I was very much ready. I toyed with the idea of just taking my pleasure and making him go a little longer, but in the end I decided that I wanted him to cum. It was wonderful. One of the things I love when he's denied a long time is the intensity of his orgasm. I love to feel him shoot into me and hear him moan. I love that he is almost shaking when he's done.

Now starts a new denial period. I haven't decided yet how long it will be (I often don't know until I get there) but I'm excited to have him desperately horny again. The last 6 weeks were not as I'd hoped since we were living with my in-laws, so I'm hoping that now that we are back on our own in our new house (with a closet to be used for play) I can keep him in a state of arousal that I find so enjoyable.

I told him last night that now that we are back on our own, he had better "step it up" if he wants to cum again anytime soon. While he did good at his parent's house in regard to serving me, there is plenty he can do now to increase his level of service. I'm really looking forward to it!

Taking Control

2009-09-08T17:28:00.004-06:00

When P and I first started out on this journey, I found it hard to take control of what had been a pretty equal marriage. My attempt at getting things done came out as requests, not demands. I didn't want to seem bitchy! I also wasn't sure if he was serious. Was every decision really going to be up to me? I tested it out slowly with little things-deciding our weekend activities and such. I came to the realization that he truly was serious when we decided to get a cat...he didn't think we should get one at that point in time, but told me it was up to me. My choice. We got the cat.

Anyway, the point of this post is to talk about how I am taking control now vs. how I was when we started. I have certainly come a long way and I really enjoy it. But sometimes I still find it difficult to take control of some things. P works 2 jobs...his full-time job and a job with his brother. This second job with his brother is part-time and as needed. P often will refer to me on whether he should go help or not. I am always stuck...we could always use the money, but it's time away from me, the kids, and time that he won't get to himself. I sometimes hate making those decisions but I make them because I like being in control. Unlike when we started out, I really enjoy being deferred to in the decision-making in this marriage.

Another example is money. I have yet to take full control over money. He must ask me before making purchases, but that is the extent of my control. He pays bills and all of that. I decided a while ago that I just didn't want the stress of it.

There is the beauty of being in my position, though. I get to choose. If I don't want to be in control of something, I simply say so. In doing that, I AM in control. And I love it!

New to blogging

2009-09-07T22:33:00.004-06:00

Well here I am. I have never had a blog before, but I recently decided that there are too few blogs from the perspective of women on the subject of wife-led marriage and D/s relationships. I want to use this blog as a resource for other women like me as well as a place to share my life and this wonderful relationship we have.

A little about me....
My husband (hereafter referred to as P) and I have been married for 7 years. About a year and a half ago he came to me with this idea of WLM and chastity. At first I didn't know what to think. He had been doing stealth submission for a week prior and I liked it, but didn't know if i wanted our relationship to change. But I'm usually open to new things, so I told him I'd try it. It took me a while to get into it. I wasn't comfortable ordering him around or taking complete control in the bedroom. Sure we had played with a little D/s in the bedroom before, but this was different. I was in control of his orgasms now. After a little time to adjust to his chastity belt (CBcurve) he gave me the key and we were on our way.

Fast forward that year and a half, and I have never looked back with regret. I really and truly enjoy this life. I have come quite a long way in my kink-I am finding that I like things I never knew I would. I am no longer uncomfortable having P do things for me. And I have found that I LOVE having control over his orgasms. There is something about him being in chastity that really turns me on! But that's another post for another day. :)